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The adventures of Dr. Bristow
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Alane's LiveJournal:

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Friday, October 3rd, 2014
7:03 pm
Over the past year I have worked with 13 different clients on the autism spectrum with two different agencies. And most of my clients/families have come up with a unique name for me one way or another.
"Teacher Alane"
"The therapist" (this one makes me laugh the most because that is what the kids called me)
"Miss Alane"
Monday, June 2nd, 2014
3:11 pm
Quotables 14

Driving home from San Diego one night, I have to swerve because there is a large backpacking backpack in the middle of the freeway bouncing around amongst the cars.
Me: "Sorry about that, I had to swerve to keep from hitting this backpacking backpack that was in the road"
Margaret: "Was it in good condition?"

Going for a walk with the twins, Zach and Kiera, age 2, and baby brother Joshua, 10 months, in the double stroller with the joey (third seat) on the front. Two ladies in their 50's or 60's come by on their morning power walk.
Lady 1: "Wow, I've never seen a stroller like that!"
Lady 2: "Well with all the multiple births these days they had to do something!"

Ellen, talking about her shift at the ER: "And then we had a patient who had overdosed on antifreeze..."
Me: "Uh...an overdose? I don't think there is a safe dose of antifreeze to consume..."

At California Adventure, about to ride on Tower of Terror with Liliana (age 4):
Liliana: "I'm so brave!"
Me: "Yes, you're even braver than Ella Grace (her 5-year-old sister who refuses to ride anything too fast or scary). You're the bravest!"
Liliana: "Well no, Jesus is even braver than me. He was brave enough to die on the cross."

One of my clients is often babysit by his uncle, who is frequently there when I do sessions. Recently he told me he liked me and asked if we could do something together some time. Last week he reiterated his desire by saying, "I was hoping to do something unprofessional with you this summer."

Wednesday, November 27th, 2013
9:51 pm
Quotables 13
At the park with the twins:
40ish-year-old man: "Are they twins?"
Me: "Yes"
Man: "Oh! Boys or girls?"
Me: "One of each."
Man: "Oh are they identical?"
Me: [long pause] "Um...no."

Margaret accidentally steps on a little kid's foot. Margaret: "Well he stepped under my shoe."

Late one night Margaret and I are talking quietly while Ellen sleeps nearby.
Ellen: "Meow"
Margaret: "Did Ellen just meow?"
Me: "I think so"
Ellen: "I always have trouble with people thinking I'm meowing when I first wake up"
Me: "Has this happened before Margaret?"
Margaret: "No"
Me: "No Ellen, this is the first time"
At home this week...
The family only has three cars right now so my dad was telling me how he can't go to the store until my mom, sister or brother get home.
Me: "Well you could ride your bike...or a skateboard..."
My dad: "The last time I got on a skateboard it was truly frightening. I mean, I was flying along and I was afraid I was going to hit a crack in the sidewalk and who knows what. I can't believe I used to ride a skateboard when I was younger."
Monday, September 2nd, 2013
3:48 pm
It's So Easy Not to Try
It's so easy not to try
Let the world go drifting by.
If you never say hello
You won't have to say goodbye!

It's so easy not to try
Never stay around to cry.
Move along when troubles come
Like a mindless butterfly.

For what good is it to love
When the loving always ends?
Travel on the road that's straight
Not the one with hills and bends?

It's so easy not to try
Let the world go drifting by.
If you never say hello
You won't have to say goodbye!

Current Mood: sad
Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
7:37 pm
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” ~CS Lewis
Friday, April 26th, 2013
7:01 pm
Against all hope...
"Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed...without weakening in his faith... he did not waver through unbelief...but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised." ~ Romans 4
Saturday, March 23rd, 2013
4:47 pm
Quotables 12

Last summer when Ellen had a really had cough and lots of phlegm in her chest:
Ellen: "What I need is a giant vibrator..."
[Shocked silence from Margaret and I]
Me: "Do you mean a cough assist device?"

Me: "So Thasia, what do you think Mommy and Daddy should name your new baby brother?"
Thasia (4.5): "Hmm...I know...Chicken Nugget!"

After going for a hike:
Matthew Curtis to his dogs: "Did you girls have fun?"
Ellen: "Yeah"
Me: "Ellen, I think he was talking to his dogs..."

Margaret: "What state is Delaware in again?"

Saturday, February 2nd, 2013
8:31 pm
"ISFJs need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged, and may even become depressed. When down on themselves or under great stress, the ISFJ begins to imagine all of the things that might go critically wrong in their life. They have strong feelings of inadequacy, and become convinced that "everything is all wrong", or "I can't do anything right"."

And that about sums up why my evening has sucked so much.
Sunday, November 18th, 2012
9:00 pm
Why I dislike Sundays...
I used to love Sundays. I used to love going to church, so much so that I looked forward to them all week. Now I hate Sundays. I feel super depressed every Sunday, so much so that I start feeling depressed on Saturday afternoon/evening just thinking about the prospect of the next day being Sunday.
I dislike Sundays now because:
1. Sunday is the day before Monday, and Monday is the beginning of another long work week.
2. Sunday is the end of the weekend.
3. The weekend is the only time I really get any appreciable amount of adult interaction (unless of course you count Music Class on Tuesday mornings when everyone thinks I am the mother of 9-month-old twins and asks me if my tummy got really big during my pregnancy).
4. I have to go to church at least most Sundays (because church staff members are supposed to attend service every week) and I feel depressed and angry hearing about how good God is and how he loves doing good things for me and how I can trust Him every week.
5. I have to get up early on Sunday, the first of six early mornings in a row.
6. Sometimes (most of the time) I hate my job.
7. Sunday is the day before I have to go back to work.
8. I hate Sundays.

Current Mood: depressed
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2012
9:27 am
Quotables 11
Margaret: "What was his other nickname? Hobbes Bottom?"
Me: "You mean Cutie Pants?"

Marg to some guy at this party: "Have you ever heard of the movie "Painted Veal"?"
Guy: "Painted VEAL???"
Me: "You mean Painted VEIL???"

Clo: "I have a question...does Margaret have an accent? Because when she speaks to me it is really horrible, I cannot understand a word she says. Her voice talks so fast!"

Margaret and I got lost on our way to seeing a movie, and drove past a night club.
Me: "Margaret, have you ever been to a night club?"
Marg: "Um, I don't know, I think so..."
Me: "You have???"
Marg: "I've been to a country club"
Me: "Not the same thing"
Marg: "I've been to a comedy club"
Me: "Not the same thing"

"I so happy!" - Liliana, age 2.5, getting off Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland

I was getting my oil changed at the car place and decided to walk over to Coffee Bean to hang out. As I'm walking past this dumpster area behind Vons this homeless lady comes flying out ranting and raving and saying to me: "These men!!! What do they f---ing know these days?!" I just keep walking and then this lady that works at Vons says "Don't mind her, she really gets into it with the men, she does that almost every day!"
Thursday, August 16th, 2012
9:09 pm
Should've Been Me
It should've been me
It should've been us
Should've been there hanging on a cross
All of this shame
All of these scars
Should've been stains that were never washed
Why do I hide
Why do you try
Over and over and over again
I guess it just leaves me saying thank God
It leaves me saying thank God, thank God
For the should've been
Monday, August 13th, 2012
12:54 am
Quotables 10
Ella Grace goes into the bathroom to go potty and there's no toilet paper. I go in to get some and she says "Somebody used it all up!" Me: "Yeah." Ella Grace: "Maybe it was Goldilocks!"

Margaret: "Alane, you aren't representative of the normal population."

Margaret and I are discussing finding tenants to rent the extra bedrooms in our houses.
Me: "I've never ever had trouble getting someone into my bedroom when I need to."
Margaret: [long pause] "You probably don't want to phrase it like that again..."

After searching my house for Skip-Bo and Phase 10 with no success:
Me: "So I've concluded that the only logical explanation is that someone broke into the house, stole the games, and left. Because that's the only thing that makes any sense."
Anna: "Because that's totally logical..."

Walking around Solvang with Mama and Anna after not getting much sleep the night before:
Me: "I wish we had brought a stroller for me to ride in"
Mama: "I think that would be called a wheelbarrow...I mean a wheelchair!"
Sunday, April 29th, 2012
10:01 pm
1. I can vote (and was invited to do so and reminded multiple times) for Junior class officers for the Class of 2014. I haven't been a member of that class for more than a year and a half now.

2. Today I counted and realized I have babysat 102 children. This does not count babies or children I have cared for in the nursery, Journey childcare, Awana Cubbies, Sunday School, autistic kids program, etc.

3. Coffee Bean is my safe place. This always gets kind of tricky and awkward when finals roll around and my (former) classmates are all there cramming and I am there wasting time/doing nothing but trying to look like I'm studying just in case those particular classmates might be some of the (very) few that don't know or haven't realized I'm no longer one of them.

4. I saw Dan Sufficool (our freshman class president) at Coffee Bean tonight, and it made me really sad. I realized on my drive home that the last time I'd seen him was during the anatomy review that he'd given that I cried through, after I'd skipped the auscultation exam and before I spent over an hour crying with Margaret and then proceeded to officially drop out of school. Yep, that was a pretty crappy day.

Current Mood: sad
Saturday, April 28th, 2012
10:15 pm
Quotables 9
A commercial for The Avenger comes on.
Marg: "I wonder where he gets those pants..."
Everyone else: {Laughing hysterically}
Marg: "Well because they don't rip!"

After Capri finishes brushing my hair she excitedly says, "Okay, now do me! Do me!"

Me: "Okay Capri come pick up these crayons."
Capri: "No you have to pick them up because you're in charge."

I was joining Anja for a craft night with her friends from MOPS...
Anja: And we're having a Bachlorette Party on May 14 if you want to join us for that too
Me: But I don't know the bachlorette
Anja: Oh none of us do!
Me [thoroughly confused]: What???
Anja: Oh it's for the TV show...you thought it was a real bachlorette party?
Me: Yes...and I couldn't figure out why you were having a party for someone that none of you know!

Lexi: "Junior, you don't want to end up being fat like Mommy."
Junior: "Yes I do!"
Lexi: "No you don't."
Junior: "Yes I do. Yes I do want to be fat!"

And just like that, in the matter of a month, my quotes have gone from being fully med school to fully kid.
Saturday, April 14th, 2012
4:13 pm
Things I miss
Running into Jason Hickey at Starbucks

Anatomy lab with Steven, Vonetta, Margaret, Jutzy, Joy, Sang, and Danny

Working in the nursery with Carrie

Babysitting Isabella and Madeline

Study groups

Being Ella Grace and Liliana's nanny and getting to spend every day with them

Having Josiah in the nursery at church

Playing the piano

Being young(er)

Fox Coffee

My Compassion child Dhanya

Working with autistic kids

Current Mood: nostalgic
Thursday, April 5th, 2012
7:50 pm
Quotables 8

Me: "Well, Dr. Werner said he didn't like to ask tricky questions..."
Olesya: "That's because he doesn't like them, he LOVES them!"

"Alane you're so bad at geography how are you even still alive?" - Anna

Me: "And last night Margaret was putting ice down everyone's shirts!" Margaret: "Not everyone. I put it down some people's pants!"

Me: "So basically you want me to lay on my back in the mud next to those flowers?" [After Marg describes one of her amazing photo opps]. Margaret: "Oh no. You just have to lay on your side in the mud."

"Oh, Margaret is just being her usual charming self!" - Olesya

Dr. Greenwood: "So when was your birthday Canty?"
Canty: "Last year"
Christoff: "Oh really? My birthday was last year too!"

James: "Gosh that's garbage!"
Hiroshi: "Thank you. I spent two hours looking for that article."

Thursday, February 2nd, 2012
7:29 pm
Quotables 7
During neuroscience case studies: "The patient is only able to grunt when asked questions." Dr. Kirby: "Sounds like my wife!"

"My life (in certain areas) is like a long series of tragic events and worst case scenarios..." - Ellen

In chapel, they announce that there will be a women's retreat. Me: "Women's retreat?" Ben: "I am the women's retreat!!!"

In chapel, talking about the Titanic: "They didn't name it the good ship weenie..." - Terry Swenson

At Dr. Teel's physio review:
Student: "Who wrote the exam questions?"
Dr. Teel: "Well...I wrote some of them..."
Class: "WHAT???"
Dr. Teel: "Well, you know, with the integrated exams they have all the different subjects and everything, but I wrote the physio questions..."
Class: "Ohhh...Phew!"

"Margaret, there was absolutely no information in that sentence!" - Ellen

Current Mood: amused
Saturday, January 28th, 2012
8:34 pm
I didn't sign up for any of this
I didn't ask to be born anxious. To struggle simply to interact with people throughout my entire life.
I never asked to fail medical school multiple times. And I certainly never wanted to become super good friends with lots of people in my med school class if I'm going to have to stop again (repeat of class of 2009? No thank you).
Chronic sleep problems. Can't I get anything right?
We've always taken wonderful care of our pets. And yet Peter has a brain tumor and is dying.

This world sucks.
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012
8:01 pm
So alone
I needed someone, desperately needed someone, anyone, just to be with me tonight. I got Mama's text as I was leaving PDX lab, and I knew then: there was nothing that could really be done for Peter. And there isn't. His brain tumor is too intertwined. It may not even be the primary cancer. I stumbled to my car and sat there in Lot X sobbing for I don't even know how long...15 minutes? Half an hour? I finally drove home, my vision clouded by tears. He has weeks. Maybe months at the very most. Maybe. The steroids haven't really helped much.
I really needed to study tonight. I really needed someone to just be with me so I could make myself study and not sit and cry all evening. But no one really seems to understand just how hard this is. All I really want to do is go home and be with Pete-Boy. Oh how I want to be with Pete-Boy. More than anything right now.

Current Mood: crushed
Saturday, January 21st, 2012
4:08 pm
Quotables 6
Aaron: I heard that cat in our yard again last night
Daddy: It was probably just a rat
Aaron: Umm, not unless it was wearing a bell

While playing Phase 10 with my family, everyone begins arranging their dealt hands of cards:
Daddy: Now it's going to take me awhile to get ready
Anna: Do you need some extra time to arrange your cards, Daddy? Because I have a skip, so I could skip you...

"Ben, I think common sense applies even when drinking power smoothies." - Ellen

"Feel this. This is the blanket of awesomeness and wonder." - Alyssa

"Those people that are single are single for a reason..." - Dr. Schaepper

While doing a partnered exercise with Danielle and Wilbert in Behavior Science class:
Dr. Schaepper: "If you are looking at someone of the opposite sex, what thoughts come up?"
Wilbert: "Sooo, what are you girls thinking???"
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